So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Congratulations! We have a period
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
