too bad you live with your parents still
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
