why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
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