it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
there is glitter all over my balls
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
