She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
