My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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