During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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