BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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