She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Randomize
