These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Your cock deserves a montage
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
