yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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