I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
