I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
