The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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