if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I didn't notice because vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
How many fucks given?
0.12846
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Randomize