fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Of course I have a pirate flag
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
