i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
