Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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