Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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