you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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