Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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