Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Randomize
