I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Someone shit on the floor
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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