hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
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maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
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We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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