My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
