You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I don't think brook has ever known best
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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