so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
