At least make sure they are 18
Why
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
