Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
im six kinds of drunk right now
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.