Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce