I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."