Texts From Last Night

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  (703): View more from Virginia

  fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST

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  (703): fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST http://tfl.nu/btab
  Replies (46) Good night (823) Bad night (602) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.

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  (516): It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch. http://tfl.nu/fh6f
  Replies (9) Good night (6252) Bad night (727) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.

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  (803): i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright. http://tfl.nu/lklv
  Replies (39) Good night (6780) Bad night (1549) Order T-Shirt
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.

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  (321): she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much. http://tfl.nu/ucje
  Replies (7) Good night (1398) Bad night (5573) Order T-Shirt
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants

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  (807): he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants http://tfl.nu/ed98
  Replies (12) Good night (1654) Bad night (5566) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll

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  (304): when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll http://tfl.nu/utzt
  Replies (9) Good night (2896) Bad night (893) Order T-Shirt
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  (714): View more from California

  I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister

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  (714): I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister http://tfl.nu/d8wy
  Replies (13) Good night (3752) Bad night (797) Order T-Shirt
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.

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  (304): as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now. http://tfl.nu/olha
  Replies (8) Good night (3361) Bad night (1141)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.

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  (774): Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America. http://tfl.nu/x41k
  Replies (3) Good night (2055) Bad night (477) Order T-Shirt
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome

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  (317): The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome http://tfl.nu/7akx
  Replies (4) Good night (2057) Bad night (474) Order T-Shirt
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.

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  (803): We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young. http://tfl.nu/kv9f
  Replies (2) Good night (1604) Bad night (403) Order T-Shirt
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.

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  (567): I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it. http://tfl.nu/gm4t
  Replies (2) Good night (1329) Bad night (308) Order T-Shirt
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  (619): View more from California

  It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.

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  (619): It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception. http://tfl.nu/8si3
  Replies (11) Good night (2587) Bad night (341) Order T-Shirt
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  (424): View more from California

  I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.

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  (424): I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster. (479): This lesson is brought you by a psychology class. http://tfl.nu/4ga3
  Replies (8) Good night (1321) Bad night (233)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.

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  (704): We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure. http://tfl.nu/1ib6
  Replies (3) Good night (739) Bad night (172) Order T-Shirt

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