yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
