it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
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