i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
