so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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