The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize