best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
