He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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