Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Randomize
