I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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