just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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