I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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