I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I think a kid would responsible me up
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
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