I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
