In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Randomize
