Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I fill condoms, not promises.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
