..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
