I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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