What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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