Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Randomize
