we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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