Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
