So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
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so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
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My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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