just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Randomize
