I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
