Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
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Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
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Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
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