This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Pooping to opera.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
